Maybe I’m a Witch Hazel: Reflections on Winter

Every winter, without fail, I struggle with my mental health. And yet, it’s not really SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) like you might immediately assume. Nope, it’s because I struggle with not fitting in. 

I am surrounded by social media memes, quotes, influencers, etc. that want to tell me what “everyone” should be and should do in the winter. 

I know the script by heart. It goes:

…“Winter is for slowing down and pulling inward…”

…“Winter is a time for deep rest and nourishment…”

…“Winter is a season for rest…”

…“The plants and earth are resting. We should be, too…”

I just keep bumping into this concept like it’s a law of nature: “If you’re doing winter correctly, you will be tired. You will want to be quiet. You will be content to sit still. You will want to hibernate and take naps in the winter.”

Oh I’m tired alright. I’m tired for being told that winter is for rest.

It’s not like that for me. For me, the cold invigorates me. The colder it is, the more energy that I have. I feel this vibrant energy that just radiates through my body. I want to do everything when it’s cold outside.

I’m rushing about happily, weeding garden beds, mulching my plants, planting trees, deep cleaning my greenhouse, starting seeds, turning my compost, tackling the invasive plants in my forest, going for long walks and hikes, etc. etc. etc.

I’m dancing with the arctic-cold wind in my yard (my poor neighbors) and reading books while sprawling on the ground in my forest. I stay outside until I can’t feel my fingers and/or the tip of my nose. I giggle at snowflakes falling from the sky and try to catch them on my tongue. I  sip iced gin on my back porch while planning my upcoming garden until I’m shivering from the cold.

And while some of that happy cold-focused energy probably comes from living in the South, where our winters are relatively mild compared to other parts of the U.S., I was born and raised and lived in Michigan and Wisconsin until I was in my mid-20s. Even when I lived in the Midwest, every snowfall and winter was a time of celebration for me.

Every time it snowed, I rushed happily out the door to take jump and play in the snow, and then shovel the snow (which remains, to this day, my absolute favorite form of exercise), and then to sprawl in the snow again to play.  I don’t think, in my entire life, I have ever complained about cold temperatures or snow. I LOVE them. 

Quite simply: I have the most energy during the year from mid-autumn until mid-spring. Winter is the peak time for my energy and desire to be outdoors doing things. 

I don’t WANT to rest in the winter. So there.

And frankly, I’m getting pretty darn tired of the internet trying tell me how I’m supposed to act in the winter. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say that everyone needs to be active in the winter (because that’s just yelling the opposite and that’s just as silly). I do believe that we need a cycle of activeness AND a season of rest every year and we need to follow some sort of rhythm that is part of nature and the wheel of the year. 

I appreciate the current modern trends that remind us to look at nature for inspiration on how to live our lives.

But not ALL plants rest in the winter. Just like not ALL humans want to rest in the winter. 

Maybe I’m a Witch Hazel

Maybe….instead of being like a vegetable plant in the garden or a maple tree, aka those plants that put all their energy into being during the spring and summer, maybe I’m more like a witch hazel.

A witch hazel is a plant that blooms at some point during the late autumn through late winter (there are slightly different blooming times depending on the variety). Its’ energy is most active during this time of the year.

Winter is when Witch Hazel grows, produces flowers, and disperses seed pods. They display their cheery yellow flowers during those wintry months, often a beautiful contrast to the pure white snow.

And what is Witch Hazel like in the summer? Summer is the period of dormancy for Witch Hazel. Summer is the time of rest for this beautiful plant. Witch hazel rests and hibernates during the summer months in order to conserve energy for the autumn and winter. 

Summer is My Time of Rest

I have tried for years and years to love summer the way other people do. Summer has always been a time of struggle for me. Like with winter, it’s a time where I experience a type of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) because I don’t fit in with other people and how they seem to adore summer.

I despise the summer sun, which quickly burns my skin and heats me up. I walk from shade spot to shade spot, avoiding all possible sunlight from touching my skin. I hate being warm; it makes me lethargic and cranky. 

I cannot sprawl on my forest floor to read a book in the summer, because summer is the Time of Bugs, which includes fire ants, aggressive wolf spiders, and swarms of mosquitos. I cannot enjoy an iced gin on my back porch without hearing the noise of humans on their lawnmowers (I swear people mow their lawn every friggin day in the summer).

I know it’s not just because I live in South Carolina, where summer is like living inside a bonfire…I have never enjoyed summer, even as a child in Michigan. There are so many childhood memories of me miserably curled up on a couch in the dark next to a fan, with burning hot sunburned cheeks and a summer-overheating-induced migraine. I just simply do not like summertime.

I’ve written before about how I try so very hard to find joy in my garden during the summer. And I do still try. I don’t ever want to just give up and completely hate a season every year. I want to figure out a way to enjoy summer.

But I think I’ve learned that the way I can enjoy summer will always look different than how the majority of other people enjoy summer. 

I think, just like witch hazel, summer is MY time of rest. Over the last two years, I’ve experimented with making summer my time of rest. I stay indoors most of the summer and curl up by a window to watch my garden while sipping some lemon balm lemonade and reading a book. I spend my summer days sewing, crafting, reading, writing, watching a movie, playing board games, baking homemade bread, and other indoor things.

And I also try to adapt and find ways to get outside in the summer without getting too unhappy/overheated/lethargic.

I try to spend a few fleeting moments in my garden in the mornings and evenings. I try to take walks immediately when I wake up.  I “run away” with my hubby to places with cooler-temperature summers than us, or to the mountains in the states where the cool mountain breezes keep things tolerable.

For those like me, who might find they have less energy in the summer and who get lethargic with the heat and sun, I hope you learn to allow yourself some moments of rest in the summer season from now on. 

Your ideal summer rest might not look quite like mine, but I hope you find ways to slow down, to sit on your shaded porch instead of weeding the garden, or saying ‘no’ to social activities, or choosing to take naps during the heat of the day. 

Because it’s very important to have moments/seasons of rest during the year and not constantly be ‘on the go’. Finding balance between rest and action is very important.

We Need Rhythms, Not Rules

Going back to my first thoughts in this piece – I might despise all the social memes/etc. that want to pressure me into resting in the winter, but I DO appreciate the reason people are trying to return to the rhythms of nature.

But I do think in our quest to get back to nature, we have oversimplified the whole idea of seasons.

Yes, humans need rhythms. We need seasons of effort and seasons of restoration. We need annual times of activeness and times of rest.

But the way those seasons land in a person can be wildly different.

Some people find that their energy levels drop when the sunlight diminishes and the cold temperatures come in during the winter months. They need cozy wintry moments of stillness and rest. Winter is their time of exhale.

But other people, including me, find that winter and colder months are the times when heat-induced lethargy disappears. It is our time for action, creativity, and dancing with the wind. Winter is our time of inhale.

Neither is more enlightened.

Neither is more “in tune with nature.”

It’s just… different wiring.

And I think it’s time we stop acting like there’s a single “normal” way to be a human in the winter.

Because when we repeat the same tidy narrative over and over—winter is for rest, period—we accidentally turn it into a ‘rule for humanity’. And then the people (like me) who don’t fit that narrative start wondering if something is wrong with them.

The truth is: nothing is wrong with you if you are most energetic in the winter. Nothing is wrong with any of us.

It’s okay if your internal calendar doesn’t match the popular one. 

Because nature itself doesn’t fit some sort of tidy annual calendar. Nature itself is full of contradictions: some things flower early. Some things thrive in the heat. Other things prefer the cold. Some things like full-sun; others prefer shade. 

And so it is for humans, too. Some of us are energetic in the summer; others in the winter. Some might be more energetic in the times of transition (spring and/or fall). Some of us have more energy in the morning; others are night owls. Some might be something in between. None of this goes against nature. 

The most important thing, I think, is to spend some time in deep thought and figure out your own personal rhythms for your day and your year. 

Maybe take out a journal or a piece of paper and reflect about your preferences for natural rhythms:

• At what point of the day do you have the most energy to get things done?
• Which season is your favorite? Why?
• Which season is most stressful for you. Why?
• When do you need to wind down during each day? How can you make time for that?
• When do you need to wind down during the year? How can you make time for that?

While writing your thoughts about when you need to rest and when you need to take action during each day and season, keep in mind that your current desires might change over time. Different cycles/phases of our lives can change our needs. So always remember throughout the year to take a few moments to occasionally reflect on your needs for action and rest and be willing to pivot.

My Final Thoughts & Reflections

My final blessing for everyone is this:

May we find a way to celebrate the fact that we are not all meant to bloom at the same time. 

May we find a way to keep the wisdom of the seasons without turning it into a rule.

May we find a way to honor rest without demanding that it looks the same for everyone.

May you stop trying to force yourself into a seasonal narrative that doesn’t fit your bones.

May you find your own rhythm with nature and honor it to the best of your abilities.

And for all those winter-bloomers like me, you beautiful witch hazel souls (or hellebores! or pine trees! or whatever plant you relate to), I hope you realize that you are not alone. May you continue to find your delight in the cold and shine in your wonderful unique way.

Because I think the world needs our perspective, too. I think sharing our personal delight with the winter season might be a great way to remind others that there is a way to find joy in every season. 

In Joy,

~Cris

More Seasonal Reflection Posts:

• How to Find Joy in the Garden in Summer
• How to Find Joy in the Garden in Fall: Dealing with Harvest Overwhelm
• Finding Joy in the Garden in Winter
• The Insanity of Spring: A Gardener’s Reflection